Dear Dr. Alfiee: Advice to Lonely Single/Independent Mom

BlackLivesMatter
Mental Health
Parenting
Self-Care
Students
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Dear Dr. Alfiee,

I’m a single working mom of 3. Being in quarantine without any other adults has really taken a toll on my mental health. How can I stay positive?

Sincerely,
Lonely Single/Independent Mom

Dear Lonely Single/Independent Mom,

I know this can be tough, so first I just want to acknowledge how much of a trooper you are for recognizing your stressors (often that is half the battle).  I see you and I understand how hard this must be.

Second, I love the idea of staying positive and having that as an “intention” right from the start.  We don’t realize how much our lives follow our thoughts and intentions, so if you begin with positive thoughts you can almost groom your interactions for the day toward positive outcomes.  And by the way, even if all the outcomes are not positive (peanut butter in the 2nd grader’s keyboard anyone?), you can still approach any challenges from a place of peace.

Finally, I think it is critical for you to carve out “adult squad time”.  I hope you can find some point in your day to just unwind and virtually hang out with other adults.  You might even find time to join groups of other independent moms or dads (or just moms and dads in general – one group I’m familiar with is mochamoms.org – specifically for moms of color) who share your stressors so you can work out good coping strategies together.

I see you momma and I know this is shaping up to be a school year filled with new challenges, but with a little planning and setting positive intentions, I hope it can be at least a little less stressful.

Keep going momma, you got this!

Love and Light,

Dr. Alfiee